some stories are so funny; we laugh until we cry and some stories are so sad we cry before we finish, but all stories need to be told...

Thursday, November 25, 2010

because it's what we're supposed to do

today i am grateful for:
breath- in and out; slow and steady- sometimes erratic- sometimes stale- i don't care- as long as it comes and goes- danke
bones- brittle, strong- curved, straight, white - supportive- like an old friend- merci
skin- wrinkled & spotted- fair and sensitive- it holds my insides in- xie-xie
hair- dishwater blond- with a few greys- shorn- straight- unmentionable- loyal- always there- i can count on you- gracias
heart- cracked and repaired- missing pieces- but beating and feeling-arigato
ex- husband- thank you for your consistency in asshole-ness and douchey behaviour. thank you for pushing me to the point of no return; forcing me to make a painful and wretched decision- without your bad behaviour i wouldn't have struggled as hard as i did- through each let down finding myself; getting up and starting over; thank you for failing at your attempt to ruin my life- i am the strong independent woman i am today because of you.
sly- i am speechless here- forever i kneel in gratitude before you; you found me and you saved me from myself and you continue to love me in spite of myself.
austin- my goofy intellectual musician; struggling to decide, at 19 years old, what he should do for the rest of his life. i am eternally grateful for this boy/man who, no matter the situation, always makes me laugh- mahalo
mikey- my 22 year old- living overseas in egypt- extraordinarily sad today because he misses all of us stateside- trudging through and working to change the world minute by minute and day by day- shukran
abby- my only daughter- my beautiful girl- we haven't spoken in 2 years, but i am forever grateful for her existence- i admire her from a far- ask often about her and live on the perimeter of her life; always hopeful that someday soon we can mend our broken parts and love each other - obrigado
dad- a bigot when he was raising us- now the most amazingly serene father - peaceful and thoughtful- always behind us- moving each of us gently forward- go raibh maith agat
jo ann- a stepmother extraordinaire; patient and loving- never making us feel any less than hers- grazi
my friends- pat & janet; artist, crafter, mothers, wives, sisters, friends- i love you both and cannot imagine my life without you. thank you both for always listening- asante
shea- my sweet kind 3 year old- who loves to dance and eat cheese and all the food stuffs. a child who is endless in his love and joy- a miracle- an old soul- a breath of fresh air - salamat po

it seems so very cliche
to sit and think about all the wonders in our lives
it is so easy to spend time bitching and moaning
thinking of all that is wrong- all that we have fucked up; the friends we have hurt- money borrowed and not returned- mean things said- bad decisions made- drunk dialing- all of it
if we could only move to the present
see ourselves for all that we are
and all that we have to offer
and all that we have-

if we could encourage our children to write selfless lists of gratitude instead of selfish lists of wants

the world would be nicer

if we could every day, okay maybe that is too much, maybe once a week- overkill? okay- how about once a month?
if we could turn to the stranger- next to us on the bus, or behind us in line- ahead of us on the highway and silently whisper "thank you"

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