my entire life i have been baffled by the necessity for club cards- you know the obnoxious slender plastic things hanging from your keychain - the piece of plastic that allows you entrance to the world of discounts....
why are these necessary and what is their purpose?
yesterday, i went to rite aid- to buy listerine and paper towels (yes, i lead and extraordinarily exciting life). i placed my purchases on the counter and the BEYOTCH-y check out woman asked "you have a club card?"- "nope" was my polite response. "well then the paper towels aren't .94 cents they are $2.29"
now, i am not super proud of myself- it was a knee jerk response- it just poured forth before i could stop it "are you fucking kidding me?- seriously. do you see the crazy in a roll of paper towels costing $2.29?" dumbfounded the bitchy clerk stared at me- to which she responded with the neck-i-tude and the tongue click; both of which i cannot do and cannot stand. (here i must interject TWO TWENTY NINE for one single roll of paper towels. not the super duper 6 in one roll. not rip the size you need. regular paper towels- NORMAL paper towels- for $2.29 they should come with maid service- or they should have the ability to wipe my toilet and bathroom sink unassisted)
back to my rant
i don't understand why i need a card to get a special price; it is like the continuation of high school: only the cool are entitled to the cool things.
why do i get a discount if i possess a sliver of plastic and the poor schlump behind me without the plastic does not?
i don't pay for the club card. i don't want the club card. i despise the club and the card.
i really really don't get it
it is one of those things that makes me feel as though, for one second, i zoom out of the scene- like one of the visitors in a christmas carol- i am "the ghost of stupid retail rules". i look down on the scene and i can see the stupidity of it all, but nobody else can. i can see that we americans are like drones- (say this in robot monotone) 'okayletmegetmycardforyousoicangetthediscountandoveraoneyearperiodiwillearnafivedollarreward".
i don't care about your "rewards"
i don't care about your club
i don't care if i am cool enough to be on your team.
i just want the paper towels- the roll that must have gold between each sheet.
"take them off of my purchase, i don't want them"
more neck roll from beyotch-y
more tongue clicking
"nice" i murmured as i walked out the of the store with my attitude in check and my lone bottle of listerine.