people with wooden spoons up their arses

ah the list is long- endless, really.
there are so many people out there who truly believe that they have all the answers - that they are better than the rest of us. the fucking know it alls-
i have my entire life, disliked clubs and teams- anything organized requiring multiple heads to make a decision, does not, in my lowly opinion, ever work- there is usually oodles of arguing and backstabbing and falsehoods, lying and fake smiles, hurt feelings and then disaster.
i hate all sports that require more than one player- for me it has always been; running, swimming, biking and yoga (and for a while power wine drinking whilst chain smoking). i'm best in sports with just me on the team; nobody relying on me to accurately catch an object or run in the right direction- nobody hoping that at some point the skinny stick in my hand might actually make contact with something- or that some day i may actually catch that 90mph ball headed my way- instead of my usual duck for cover after screaming "I'VEGOTIT!".
just me and the wind.
or the water.
unfortunately, sometimes clubs or teams are necessary; like when you are attempting to start a business on an unmentioned handmade website; teams become a highly recommended tool.
scour through team lists i did.
there were hundreds of teams to choose from; my favorites were the one person team; i was torn: i wanted to join but i didn't want to ruin their solo mojo.
read
read
scour
scour
teams for the over 40 artist
teams for artists over 50
teams for girls
teams for gays
teams for guys
teams for knitters
teams for beginners
teams for just out of the closet gay knitters who like to be alone on wednesdays with girls over 50
and then i found it
teams for food makers....aha- this sounded so right! and then? i read the rules. and then? i nearly died.
remember here, that we are not speaking of the james beard foundation- nor are we trying to get rated by the ny times; this is website for artists and craftspeople- (wherein it is difficult to be recognized as either when your medium is food)
that's not the point
the point is
teams were created to assist and encourage each other
or so the bi-line reads
until you read this joke ass of a club's rules:

"proof of licensing to work in your state required (we don't know the rules for all 50, but we WILL find out)
if you make dog food or cat treats, please provide us with health safety codes. if we find out you've lied (and we will) we will report you to the leaders of this website and you will be forever banished from our kingdom.
once you've passed the application process and we've accepted you,  you will be on a 3 month probationary period. (you've got to be fucking kidding me) during this time you may NOT list ANYWHERE that you are associated with our team. you may not refer to our team. you may not look at us. you must curl up in a ball and die". you must have sold at least 4,000,000 items and have 6,000,000 positive feedbacks. you must blog; said blog having first been published shortly after your mother named you. said blog must have 8 cajillion followers all of whom buy at least $20 of product per day". (okay, i added the last few but amazingly they fit right in and they are only an exaggeration in numbers.)
raise your hand if you are dumb enough to believe that because someone possesses a "food handler's safety certificate" this guarantees cleanliness and proper food preparation.
raise your hand if you are dumb enough to believe that all restaurants in nyc are clean and run above board- because in nyc every kitchen must have, in the very least one employee in possession of said certificate.
and if you believe all that you've read, i will tell you this
that all of the ingredients we use are homegrown- each & everyone- homegrown, organic, local, and fair trade.
we have an aviary upon our roof where each morning, after singing songs and playing guitar, i float upwards to retrieve fresh jars of honey.
after that i pull lavender flowers from my ass.....
apparently
i won't ever find success
because
apparently i am not a team player
i can't do it
i just can't be on a team where the requirements call for my head to live so far up my ass that i can see my tonsils
yes, i am agile- but everyone has a limit....

there may not be an "i" in team, but there is definitely a "me"-

oh, i nearly forgot
last night sly made kalamata & marmarbirlik olive & caramelized onion focaccias
they are beyond good
you should try one- while watching a team sport.

cauliflower & collards

yesterday was one of those days- one of the uninspiring ones- it started cold & dank- i tried to get out early, before the rain- and was pelted with sleet. all the while walking i thought "this isn't good" and i longed for my warm bed (never that relaxing during the day as our 3 year old lurks about ('lurk' isn't the right word either- more "lives loudly about" would better describe him) our home- but a girl can dream that it would've been warm & quiet and relaxing).

it was only the second day of daylight savings and already i've had enough of bright sunny mornings - really what's the point of a bright sunny morning when it is so f'ing cold you can't go out into it? i despise the bright sunny mornings- they are a tease- and just when you get yourself into the bright sunny mindset- 5pm rolls around and the sun, like your spirits, is sinking.

sly & i spent part of the day, as we do- planning- reading- pouring over articles in old magazines and cookbooks-  working on new ideas to add to our repertoire. the subject of dinner came up; which one would think in a house where two people love to cook- would be the subject du jour. "dinner? yes, how lovely, i was thinking, capers sauteed in butter- with root vegetables and garlic" and a response "really, because i was thinking something lovely and roasted in the oven with fresh bread and greens".

no. uh uh. no way. nyet. nein. non. it isn't like that.

dinner is a topic we like to avoid; apparently, too early in the day, every day, i make too big of a deal out of it. and sly doesn't love to talk about it- he likes to just let it happen. i don't like living that way- the "just go with it, let it find itself way" but i am really really trying.

so sly doesn't love to plan dinner and he isn't usually the one to say "hey, lets go out today!"

as i began, yesterday was weird- and the next occurrence made it doubly so. around 2 o'clock sly got dressed and said "i'll be back". normally, like a small child watching their favorite parent ready to leave, i would panic and quickly try to dress so that i too could go, but as i mentioned, yesterday was strange- i didn't really care that he was going.

sly left and i stayed - with the kid- we did blocks and puzzles and colored- we played computer games and i actually had a moment where i thought "okay, the winter won't be that bad" until i looked at the clock and realized it was only 2:45.

sly got home around 5- in a flurry with bags he was excited.- he had gotten two new 1/2 sheet pans- which is exciting (any new equipment is always fun & inspiring) and he had gotten cauliflower and collards.

honestly? two years ago, i probably would've gone into our room and quietly cried- or i would've been bitchy- and said something smarmy dripping with sarcasm, like "oooo, cauliflower & collards- yum, thanks for including me in tonight's dinner plans".- but i held my tongue, when it comes to food and life, i've learned to trust sly. plus he was excited.

i left the kitchen- i always offer to prep for him- an excuse to just be around him- to be close to him- but he said 'no thanks'- so i went to find my 3 year old playmate and we "did" trains.

i heard chopping 

and the burr mixer

and then i smelled heaven.

sly had burred garlic &  olive oil, fresh thyme and scallions- he quartered the cauliflower and made a rub with the fragrant puree, finishing with salt- he put the cauliflower on the new sheet pans and into the oven.

he julienned onions and minced more garlic and ginger- in a hot pan of sesame oil he sauteed the collards with tamari & rice wine vinegar.

we took frozen homemade kalmata & marmarbirlik olive focaccia from the freezer- and i made kasmati rice. 

we feasted like royalty.

the house smelled amazing

the food was fragrant and divine. the roasted cauliflower was nutty - and not ever my favorite vegetable- not even a top twenty- i cleaned my plate and the serving bowl with bits of focaccia and then my fingers.

it was comforting. 

as i got up to do the dishes i thought, maybe winter won't be so bad, afterall.